10 things to know about life in Honduras

One of my housemates, Jennifer, has a family member flying in tomorrow. In preparation of their culture shock, Jennifer sent her this hilarious and DEAD ON look into our daily lives. I hope you enjoy. :)

"As you prepare to embark on your first ever voyage to Central America,
I would like to inform you of a few things that you should keep in
mind. I hope this sarcastic, yet serious list will accurately inform
you of the experiences yet to come...

1) You will be welcomed into this country with open arms!!
...Not really- in fact, people will harshly stare at you, and will not
break eye contact even if you stare back. Blonds are like alien and if
you proceed to speak in English, they will stare even longer. You may
experience men yelling to you "Oye linda, lava mi ropa" which means
"Hey pretty lady, wash my clothes"... I don't know why they say this-
apparently it is some kind of horrible pick up line.

2) Plumbing is exquisite here!
...That is a dirty lie. The plumbing is so bad that you can't even
flush toilet paper down the toilet. And if you make this mistake, you
will be reprimanded immediately as the water flows up over the toilet
bowl and you are standing there thinking about how you are going to
explain this predicament to someone who doesn't speak your language.
KEY POINT: Don't throw toilet paper in the toilet, no matter how
smelly it may be after you wipe your ass- it will smell worse when it
comes back up...

3) Geckos, tarantulas, and scorpions are your friends.
...Don't mess with them and they won't mess with you... the geckos I
mean. As for the scorpions and tarantulas- kills those @#$% #$%^&s!

4) There is plenty of healthy food options here!
...As a matter of fact, EVERYTHING is either deep fried, soaked in
lard, or contains so many starches that you will be stocked up on
carbohydrates for the next month after you leave here.

5) There are no bugs here.
...Actually those bastards will even find you in your sleep and you
will wake up scratching in the middle of the night. Sorry there's no
AC option so this is the trade off for the open windows.

6) Rain? What rain?
...You will most likely experience your first official flood while
you're here- don't be alarmed... only PART of the stadium fell apart
this week due to the high winds and serious saturation. Most of it is
still standing.

7) Hot water is abundant here.
...Actually, say goodbye to hot water coming out of faucets. It's
unheard of here.

8) You will always feel clean on the streets.
...In reality, you will probably discover that sweating problem that
you never knew you had. And whenever you walk on the streets or ride
in a taxi, those lovely puffs of exhaust smoke that you see billowing
from the cars will surely make your clothes reek for hours after.
There's something to be said about emissions in the States.

9) Nothing is more refreshing than a nice glass of tap water!
...This is only true if you want parasites. If so, then drink away!
Otherwise, it's bottles and bottles of water. And oh yeah- surprise!
They don't recycle here...

10) And lastly (this one is actually serious) you are about to
experience a part of my life that I hold so dear and I am so proud of.
You will see poverty, malnutrition, and very sick starving dogs on the
street. We will be in the city mostly but it is not easy to forget
that less than an hour away there are people without running water in
their homes and children who run around with no shoes. In the short
amount of time I've been here I have come to love this country and the
people. I am so excited for you to come see my new life here. After
all, you have been my biggest influence in helping me get here and
become the person I am."


Hope everyone's having a great week!

LOOoooOOoVVEEeeEEe,
Hollie